I Am Not A Shit Parent!
This post was written in response to a Facebook post I did about how hard it is to navigate the self service checkouts at the supermarket, or Kmart, etc etc, when you have kids with you. Specifically young kids.
Whilst the majority of the comments agreed, there were a few (more than a few) saying “maybe if you disciplined your kid you wouldn’t have this problem”. Or “try parenting”. Or “if you let your kids walk all over you, they’ll turn into monsters when they grow older”. OR the best one “you’re a bad/shit parent”.
I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the way parenting is supposed to work is that you’re supposed to teach your kids the way of the world; and they’re supposed to not listen. They’re supposed to push back and test the boundaries constantly.
You’re there to keep them in line and remind them, ALL THE TIME, about the way we should be doing things.
Did you know that no two children are the same? *GASP* What Maria?! So my child who was perfect and listened to me, there isn’t a duplicate of him out there?!
NO. Children may be similar but none are the same.
I could parent both of my children exactly the same (and I do mostly) and they’d still do different things.
My 5 year old is a compliant child who, for the most part, listens to what I say. She needs to be constantly reminded (like all children) but she listens and follows instruction.
My 3 year old, however, is much more defiant. I find myself having to be harder on him because he constantly pushes back on me and what I’m asking of him.
Plus. He is only 3 f’ing years old. He’s only been alive for THREE YEARS. It’s not like he’s an adult – I’m still teaching him the ways of the world.
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If I go to the supermarket, I ALWAYS state the rules and my expectations. And I repeat them; a thousand times. Yet they still forget.
Does that make me bad? NO.
If they play up, they get warnings and then a punishment. I ALWAYS talk to them about this so they know what’s coming. They still play up: so action = consequence.
Does that make me a shit parent? Because they’re still pushing the boundaries? NO
It makes me a PARENT.
I might be an idiot for taking my kids to the supermarket, but I am NOT A SHIT PARENT.
My children are NOT undisciplined. They are children, doing what children do.
And I’m a parent, doing what I do. I’m still figuring shit out, and having comments from people perpetuating these shitty ideas that a kid misbehaving makes you a “shitty parent” really doesn’t help anyone.
I asked my Mum (who had 4 kids under 5) if we were well behaved at the supermarket, and she flat out said “YES”. Of course I gave her the “WTF MUM” look, and she said “Maria, I never took any of you to the supermarket with me until you were about 7-8 because it was too much stress”.
So by the time we went to the supermarket, we were old enough to know what was right or wrong, and had stopped pushing the boundaries like we used to do when we were toddlers.
I think my Mum is onto something and clearly I need to be doing more of the “not going to the supermarket with my kids” thing haha
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Kids misbehave all the time. As parents, we have to repeat ourselves ALL the time. It’s the cycle of things.
Kids grow up, and they learn.
Hopefully when my kids grow up, I can teach them not to be an asshole in real life AND online … LOLOL
Snapchat me yo: happymumnz
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